Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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