Kiss
Puke
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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