I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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