why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
