Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
