I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
