My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
