you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
