I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize