I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
