I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
