I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
