I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize