She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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