She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
