now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
