Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
