Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
