I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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