He felt like a one man threesome
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
