There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
