i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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