when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
