Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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