Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
