I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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