based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
