She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
