its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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