i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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