you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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