You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
