You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
