How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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