According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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