he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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