So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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