No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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