in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
