I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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