I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
