like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
