there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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