dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
