For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
