This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
