I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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