yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I currently don't understand fingers.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
