whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
