im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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