how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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