I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
