i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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