Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
