So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
