PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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