He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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