He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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