No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
